The Integrated Authentic Self
I propose a new psychological model of self that integrates ideas from Carl Jung’s shadow self and shadow parts, Carl Rogers congruence of ideal self and self-image, the Buddhist teaching of the middle path, and existential psychotherapy.
There are three parts that make up the self: the optimal self, the shadow self, and the authentic self. To achieve liberation, our goal is to create the conditions for our authentic self to emerge.
The optimal self is an aspirational identity and contains idealized values, purpose, and meaning in life. These aspirations guide growth but create distress when we believe we must fully achieve them as our identity or we transform them into conditions of worth.
We form the optimal self through internalized messages, relationships, culture, experience, and meaning systems. We bury that which is not optimal in the shadow self.
Disowned aspects of experience and identity make up the shadow self. We hide the shadow self in conscious and unconscious processes. These parts can be positive and helpful attributes or harmful and negative. We may be aware of them or not, but we keep them buried because we believe they are intolerable or unacceptable, or because suppressing them once helped us survive.
However, the more we keep these shadow parts out of view, the more they influence and control our thoughts and actions through projection, compulsions, emotional triggers, avoidance patterns, defenses, repetition, and shame cycles, often against our perceived will.
We can see the interplay and tension between these parts in opposite actions throughout our day-to-day experiences. When we seem to want one thing but behave in a manner that contradicts our intention.
Imagine the optimal self as a bright light. As we move toward the optimal self, we cast a shadow, just out of our awareness, but the shadow unconsciously steers us away from our goals. Because the unconscious stays in the shadows, we do not understand why we keep failing at our goals. We blame others, outside sources, fate, or divine will.
The shadow self is not necessarily bad or harmful, and we do not need to fight against it or banish it. To create the life we want, we need the authentic self to emerge as an integrated optimal and shadow self.
The authentic self is not a fixed destination; rather, it is an ever-changing process of continued integration of aspirations in the optimal self along with disowned
shadow aspects with increasing awareness. Integration involves bringing these disowned or idealized aspects of self into conscious awareness and into an active relationship with our present experience as thoughts, emotions, sensations, impulses, memories, relationships, and lived reality as they arise.
The authentic self is not an aspirational, new version of the optimal self; rather, it is a process of intentional relationship with the fluid nature of our identity.
Authenticity emerges through the ongoing conscious engagement with these tensions, along with the responsibility and accountability for our choices. Integration allows shadow material to become consciously related to and responsibly expressed rather than automatically enacted.
To identify the shadow parts, begin by noticing when you feel yourself moving in the opposite direction to where you want to go. Notice patterns in your decisions that seem to sabotage your ability to create what you want or when you act out of insecurity.
Common existential themes include:
You feel lonely - you desire connection - then make decisions to isolate yourself.
You are afraid of death or injury - you desire life and safety - then make risky decisions that could lead to serious injury or death.
You feel lost in life - you desire meaning and purpose - then continue to engage in experiences that are meaningless.
You feel boxed in and constricted - you desire freedom - then bind yourself to restrictive ideologies or addictions.
Bring these themes into awareness. Notice they exist without judgement, and bring them into the light, letting them exist as part of yourself. When you create the right conditions, one of compassion and empathy, the authentic self naturally emerges.
Think of balance. The authentic self resides in the middle path, not in either extreme of optimal self or shadow self. The middle path is a way to live in the tension of the opposite extremes with awareness, intention, and compassion. In this environment, the authentic self thrives and flourishes.
With this new understanding, we can start to move with intention toward our goal. We recognize power in the integration of the shadow and optimal selves. With practice, we can create the environment for a liberated authentic existence where addiction has no place.
